Leaving Boulder and the moving with kids part

When my brother Marty came to visit with Diane, he repeatedly gushed over the beauty that surrounded me and kept saying 

"HOW COULD YOU LEAVE THIS?!?"

then he quickly added, this opportunity for Clay must be amazing to leave THIS!

Diane told him to stop it :)

Of all places to receive validation was in my Boden womens clothing catalog.

It comes naturally for me to look forward and not back. 

So naturally I was like, "yes! I am doing this moving thing right!"

Setting my scope out to see the horizon of our landing.

But it also comes naturally for me to get completely neurotic over all the to do's :)

Moving has a way of stripping all of your comforts away. 

But also revealing what you are made of.

Which is like a self induced constructive criticism session with yourself, haha.

   

 Everytime I move I feel I have unfinished business about me or potential that wasn't fulfilled. 

Moving strips me of seeing your kid's friends grow up. 

Or your friend's kids grow up.

Or your primary kids/ youth kids:)

 You are new to everything with eyes wide open.

Who wants to be new? Noone. I mean sometimes. Maybe.

 This transition in particular has me really feeling raw and exposed. The logistics of the move have been a full on roller coaster, more downs than ups for us. We have moved before (7 times) but this one is different.  

It could be the ages of the children?

16, 14, 12, 8

New job/company? New life? New schools? new friends to make? 

new everything? Clay is gone? Accidents. EMOTIONS? people weighing in on how horrible California is? 

(ahem...I AM californian!)

last summer

 One of the challenges, which may seem trivial to some, is that this summer has been the worst I can remember having with the kids since their earthly existence. I have dubbed it the 

"bummer summer of 2018"

hahaha 

I cherish summertime with my kids :)

 Summer for me is exploring, learning, reading, seeing family, putting that fence up around me and my children and saying to the world...this is my time with them. 

Go away.

But the world wouldn't go away this summer. 

It has come with a flawed mother losing her senses and being frustrated, canceling things left and right, searching, 

earnestly searching, 

for all the answers and the place we need to be. Time's a ticking, why are things happening last minute when we had prepared better than this? 

  

When I hear people say "the Lord doesn't give you anything you can't handle" I am silently thinking and chuckling...uh,

  I don't know about that. 

I'm pretty sure we get a lot of things in life we cannot handle.

That is the test.

Who we take our trials to is what matters.

 I tend to take on the kids and the husband and all their emotions, that's what gets me the most.

So, I have to lay it at the feet of Christ.

Or to "the universe" as I sometimes say.

And the moving with teens and kids part:

1. Expect a wide range of emotions. Even if they seem fine at the beginning , it could all turn it's head on you.

2. Tell your kids about the move as soon as possible!

3. Have them research the area and look up the school's websites

4. Make a visit so they can visualize even if they say "it's all dry with shrubs MOM" and make time for fun on the visit

5. Keep praying every night as a family and ask the kids to be specific in their own prayers. Like we prayed last night that the inspection would come back ok and our our offer would be accepted on the house we want. 

6. Arrange as many hang outs and goodbyes with friends. 

It's important to leave confident.

7. Buy them all new shoes...okay, just kidding, but I did :)

8. Send them off to Alaska for 2 weeks to spend with Grandpa and Grandma...this couldn't have come at a better time for them to rejuvenate their spirits, relax and be loved before our move. 

Alaska is pretty magical.

Don't

1. Freak out. I already did. It doesn't turn out so well.

2. Minimize their emotions. Teens are complex but as my friend pointed out to me, they only know how to use about 2 tools to navigate all the complexities in their life right now.

3. Don't think all the worst things that could happen at the new school when you have to fill a form out asking if your child has a parole officer or not. haha.

4. Don't forget the reason for the move. It's a big one! 

5. Don't set aside your original feelings and confidence about your children being able to navigate their new life. If you are confident in them, they will be confident. Trust your gut.

6. Don't live in a hotel for the first 2 weeks of school...but whatever, it will probably be memory making, right? 

free breakfast? :)

The most important thing I can say is be excited. 

OR...make yourself be excited.

Either works.

Your children will need that.

And look ahead.