Unpacking my Life

Sunset out our front door :)

As I have been unpacking our boxes, I feel like I am just unpacking my life. 

Unpacking memories. Unpacking keepsakes.

 Unpacking my emotions. 

I'll get side tracked and look through old photos(I was so young!) I'll think about when the kids were little and how simple life was. I'll think about when Clay worked through the union in SF and how content I was with our little life way back when. I've thought about my life in Colorado. How time seemed so condensed there.

 Did that all really happen? 

did my kids grow up and become teenagers? did I love the mountains enough? were we good to people? will I miss the crazy mountain weather? did we leave it better than we came?

I also think about the Milkbarn. I think about leaving it before I could enjoy the "finished product". That thought is very difficult and frustrating but it is an important one to acknowledge. Moving forward doesn't mean not thinking about your life deeply does it?

Then I get a text that interrupts these deeply emotional thoughts for me and laugh. Thanks freshman son.

There are some things that feel like the Milkbarn.

 Like the wind.

I found my beach chair sitting in the pool after a long windy day, haha. 

I also hear coyotes at night. 

I see Mars hanging in the evening sky in front of my home each night. I love that part of here.

I am trying day by day to make a home here and just letting things organically grow.   

We christened the kitchen with a batch of cookies made by Audrey

Henry had his first choir concert. He looked like he was in pain the whole time doing it. 

TEENAGERS

His friend got him a rose and he cannot be given a prop without trying to make you laugh with it

he looked up performing arts high schools...too far away

Lucy's team had a fabulous pancake breakfast to kick off the season. 

We made all the bacon and sausage. ALL of it. 

(I guess that got rid of the last owner's smell in the house, haha)

We live in horse country and parts feel like Old California.

 I snapped this in the car sitting at the intersection by Chester's school :)

Old charms from the Milkbarn have been placed in the front

and a dinner bell from Janet as our housewarming gift was perfectly placed in the very last box I unpacked this week :) 

That is when I cried hard.

I let it all out.

3 weeks is usually my threshold for holding it in and we have been in the house 3 weeks :)

All the stuff I didn't want the kids to see. 

Missing my friends,  missing people who understood my kids, missing a perfectly built house, each nook and cranny thought of just for us, just missing my old life. 

I am trying to model for them how to keep moving forward and adapt to change.

 All at the same time, to embrace where you live and the opportunities that will be laid in front of them.

I got a letter from the buyers of the Milkbarn, Kasper the dog looks content. 

Funny, that is how I felt in that backyard too :)

that backyard was my calm

This backyard is different but I am finding contentment and calm :)

I have unpacked everything. 

It's time to make this home ours:)