The Land of What Ifs

Times Square, New York City

7:20 am

My short story goes like this:

When I was 28 I had begun a clothing line (finally!) and it had success, although small the signs were good. The clothing sold out in each store, it was commented that the fit was excellent which was my calling card...good fit and fabric.

So, I worked on my business at night and had a job with a software company by day. I went to NYC for a fabric buying trip and came home resolved to move there. We had a new york office, I made a call. They said maybe they could make room for me there,

 but this was "off the record" 

Lucky Magazine(which might not be in print because I don't know these things anymore) came to my small shared apartment in sf to view my line after seeing it in a boutique. 

This was it!  

 after I decided to move to new york...

I met Clay

we met in San Francisco

he will tell anyone he left Alaska to find a woman :)

So, when I go to New York, it is me being somewhere 

in the land of what if's

my mom always told me the most important decision you make is who you marry

there are a lot of options out there to choose from in life

sometimes they look the same but there are subtleties that will make you happier in the end

I spent the day looking at fabric, architecture,art, visiting with my friend Sarina, eating good food, etc

I have a list :)

Spending time with Sarina, who I have known since we were 19 at BYU, was a gift. I could see the beautiful life she has built with her husband and boys. We touched on the subject of "can you believe this is our life? did you ever think you would live on the east coast? or me in Boulder?"

I'm 46.

Those older than me will say, you are so young! 

But I know those younger may think we 46 year olds have this clear vision of life and where we are headed.

In terms of living a christlike life, I have that vision even though I stumble.

But in return for that, we are often led away from the things we so desire for something more eternal. 

I might not have had New York,

 but I have an equally busy, loud, cool, art filled life right here. Or at least I try and make it that way.

And I know I can take that anywhere :)

But man, I 💗 NY