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Mom Thoughts

I want to say rather loudly...
"make them stop growing up!"
 Clay says...
"I can't wait to see what they become or do"
And I'm like...maybe?
 Sometimes I miss them cuddling up to me on the couch.
Sometimes I miss that immediate gratification of motherhood.
Motherhood for me has been my greatest calling on earth. 
Full stop. 
The challenges involved and the joys involved have built my confidence and self esteem like no other experience.
And I've had to tear down and rebuild a lot of the time :)
I never went into this thinking somehow I knew all the things I should do or all the things I would be as a mother.
For instance, as a designer I thought I would care a whole lot about what they wore or how they looked (especially at church when they were little)!
 Turns out I valued their individuality, creativity and independence way more than styling them.
I have come to find out there was no set path for all of them to follow but if there was a recipe that I have created, a path so to speak,  it would be that Clay and I have pushed them to  be their own person. 
Do your own thing.
 Keep God close.
It's okay to be different.
Don't peak in high school...hahaha.
Here I am pregnant with Lucy :)
I cried continually in this first experience of pregnancy out of gratitude. 
Could have been hormones but I am a serious crier!
I'd be driving to my early morning BART ride to work and tears would well up. 
I was just so humbled and  overwhelmed with gratitude.
 I finally was at the moment I had wanted with all my heart,
in love with my husband, pregnant and ready to have her. 
A few years ago Clay said to me,
 "we had a baby and we really didn't even know each other".
hahaha
So true.
I am most proud of the time I have given my family. 
I do a lot of things wrong but I think the time I give them has been right.
My first one is grown and flown but Clay was right...
I do love seeing this journey for them.
 The ups and downs of life will always be in place.
There's no getting away from life:)
My deepest desire is to give them not just a soft landing but a steady landing.

I love being a mother💖
Happy Mother's Day!



 

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